Writing Selection #3--The First Time I Saw My Wife

October 30^th 2011

Prologue:  Five years ago tonight, I lived alone in a tiny one bedroom apartment off of Valley East in Arcata, CA. 

Intro:  Sometimes you see something that moves or comes from the beyond, like another place or another dimension.  You know it comes from another dimension because when you see it, it has a sparkle.  You feel it because it cuts through everything around you like a hot knife through butter, a kick to the gut that stuns and stupefies.

Pre-Story:  It was Halloween, my favorite holiday, and I had spent the day being a terrible Edgar Allen Poe at school—or my job more specifically.  My buddy Cole called me around 8 PM and told me to drive to Eureka so we could paint the town red.  We always did.  However because of his DUI, he had no license and could not drive, so he put in a request for my vehicular skills, and yet again I would pick him up from his house and drive him to the local watering hole so he could play a game of pool.  “When I get my license back, I’ll drive to Arcata, buddy!!” he reassured me.  I was tired and did not want to go.  I had school/work the next day early.  Yet, it was Halloween, my favorite holiday, so I semi-reluctantly agreed to pick my (expletive) off the couch, and go play chauffeur. 

I took off the black wig I was wearing, the ridiculous cape, and I scrubbed my face as best I could in order to de-makeup my face.  I left without a costume and noticed as I put my key into the ignition that I was wearing a tan t-shirt and tan pants.  Lame.  Apparently I didn't care how I looked. I rolled out of the complex with my usual swagger and style.  I thought, “I’ll look better than Cole.”

 

223 Wabash.  Pick Up.  Call Konkler.  “Drive yourself!”  C Street to Old Town.  Bar. Weird people.  Captain and Cokes.  Quarters.  “You’re (expletive) cool Cole, you pro pool player you!”  Konkler. Good Times.

The Story:  I was standing in my usual spot where the long length of the bar turns 90 degrees and runs for about four feet.  I was near the pinball machine and Konkler sat on a stool next to me.  I looked towards the entrance to and saw my wife walk through the heavy leather clad door of The Shanty.  Fate turned her head, eye contact was made, and instantly they dissolved time and space around her. Time slowed and the world silenced.  There was that sparkle I was talking about—it sat on the upper corner of her eye, and it lit the room like a disco ball.  It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and she made it.  Her eyes and that diamond sparkle.  It was like being hit by a Mack Truck.  A magical, wonderful, very large Mack Truck. 

“Hey!”  “Hey!” Cole yelled my way, “It’s your shot!”  She turned and I was snapped out of the fairy tale coma.  Reality.

“Huh?  What?  Oh yeah.”  Back to the room full of happy drunks.  I was playing pool with Cole, that’s what I was doing.  That is why there was a pool cue in my hand.

“Hertz!  It’s your shot!”  and Cole shook his head with the look of disgust.  Condescending as he is, he probably lamented that, “his best friend was an idiot.”

I lined up the shot and missed.  Eye connection again and smile.  The heavens opened. She turned away.  Real World.

My instincts sent messages to my brain instructing me to quickly think of something to say, for something inside me knew she was going to hang a left, consequently placing her in our general vicinity. 

Cole just said “Hi!” to the dude and girl she came in with.  “Think, think, think….”

Cole was running the table with swagger.  It was actually impressive.  Konkler laughed because that is his only method of communication.  I continued to drive around my brain, hunting for some snazzy impressive first words.  I drew a blank.  Literally the inside of my mind was a white slate. 

Then I couldn't help it and I looked up and saw her entirety.  A goddess among trashy mortals, myself included.  Smiles, laughing, olive skin, God’s best design for a mouth, eyes plucked from the night sky.  Truly, she was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen.  And I have been to a lot of amazing places, taken enough drugs, and met many a person.

“Go Hertz!”  A command from the impatient one, my BFF Cole.   “Don’t ruin my game.  I’m killing it!”  Line up.  Scratch. 

“Tsssss!”  was his response, and another head shake.

I turned and there she was, our eyes connected and this time she was close—like right in front of me!  The sparkle, the fading of everything except her, the magic, it happened again.  It was like something out of a movie.  Casablanca or something good like that.  Some movie with Brad Pitt and I was like Brad Pitt!  Except this was real and I would have to say something quick, quick or else that tall meat head who had been oogling at her would talk to her first and not me.  Quick Hertz, quick!  OK, a sip of Captain and Coke to buy some time and to look cool.  OK!  The time is now!

And all I could muster was, “Nice shoes!”

The End.